Sleeping tips for when you are wired but tired. This happens to everyone but I find that when you have autoimmune challenges it can happen even more often.
Your body is exhausted, but your brain is running a marathon, replaying an awkward conversation from 2018 or worrying about tomorrow’s meeting or about how much money is in (or not in) your bank account.
We have all been there. The harder you try to sleep, the more impossible it becomes. Sleep is one of the few things in life where effort actually works against you.
If you are staring at the ceiling right now (or reading this with one eye open), here is a practical rescue plan to help you drift off and not only fall asleep but stay asleep.
- The Paradox: Stop Trying to Sleep
This sounds counterintuitive, but the anxiety of “I must sleep” is what keeps you awake.
The Strategy: Try Paradoxical Intention.
Lie in bed, keep your eyes open (in the dark), and gently tell yourself, “I am just going to rest. I am not going to fall asleep. I will just lie here and stay awake.”
By removing the pressure to sleep, you lower your anxiety levels, which ironically allows your body to relax enough to doze off. - The 20-Minute Rule (Reset the Association)
If you have been tossing and turning for more than 20 minutes (or what feels like 20 minutes), get out of bed.
Why? If you stay in bed while anxious and awake, your brain starts to associate the bed with stress, not rest.
What to do: Go to another room. Keep the lights dim/off. Read a boring book, listen to soft music, or do some light stretching.
When to return: Only go back to bed when you feel the “heavy eyelids” wave of sleepiness coming back. - The “Brain Dump”
Often, we can’t sleep because our brain is afraid it will forget something important. It keeps looping the “To-Do” list to keep it safe.
The Fix: Keep a notebook and pen by your bed.
The Action: If a worry or task pops up, write it down. Tell your brain, “It is on paper. We can deal with it tomorrow.” This grants your mind permission to let go. - Physiological Reset: The 4-7-8 Breathing Technique
When you are stressed, your nervous system is in “fight or flight” mode. You need to manually switch it to “rest and digest.”
How to do it:
Exhale completely through your mouth.
Close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to a count of 4.
Hold your breath for a count of 7.
Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound, to a count of 8.
Repeat 4 times.
Note: The long exhale is the magic key—it physically slows your heart rate. - Distract the Brain: The “Cognitive Shuffle”
If your inner voice won’t shut up, you need to scramble it. This technique, developed by cognitive scientists, mimics the fragmented, random thoughts that occur naturally as we fall asleep.
The Game:
Pick a neutral word (e.g., “BEDTIME”).
For each letter, visualize a word that starts with it.
B: Bear, Ball, Biscuit…
E: Elephant, Egg, Engine…
D: Dog, Door, Drum…
Visualize the object clearly for a few seconds, then move to the next.
It is boring enough to induce sleep, but engaging enough to stop you from worrying about work.
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